Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Marriages under Threat



There is no doubt that society impacts us all, and most especially the family unit, this should make us wary of following the crowd simply to 'get along'.

Parents need to be leaders in the family and the parental roles should be respected as God defined husband and wife. The husband IS the head of the home as well as the provider, and the wife is the support and nurturer of the family unit. It is when these lines are blurred that confusion enters the picture and sadly the parents also allow the outside world to impact their home, to the detriment of their families’ wellbeing.

Once the husband's role has been negated within the family unit it opens up many problems for the entire family. And when the wife’s role is not given the validation that she needs, this may lead to both husband and wife trying to sabotage the other's role in a power play.

And it is this type of relationship that play's right into Satan's hands, for he loves nothing better than marital discord, which then effects the children and what was once a loving family environment quickly disintegrates into a dysfunctional family unit.

Often times it is the unknowingness of each partner's role that helps bring about this confusion, and it is also this that Satan will use to bring disruption and chaos into the roles of husband and wife.

The husband is the head of the home in that he provides for the livelihood of his family and it is the husband’s strength of character and also his protective instincts which compels him to provide the best for his family. It is also the wife’s role to help foster a nurturing and loving environment for the needs of her family. So in affect both the role of husband and wife should compliment one another and never devolve into competition!

We find the most perfect example of marriage when we look at the example left to us by both Joseph and Mary, this Holy couple truly leads the way in how we should comport ourselves when dealing with each other. It is also what God stipulated in that once Joseph and Mary were espoused, the Angels that were sent to warn of imminent danger, appeared to Joseph solely and not Mary. This is not disrespectful but it reinforces and validates, man being the Head of the Home!

Nowhere in Scripture does Mary ever contradict Joseph, even when having to flee into Egypt, Mary truly is our perfect example of a wife and mother. It would be wise for couples to study in depth the relationship shared between the Most Holy Marriage of Joseph and his beloved Mary.

It is when we compare the marriage between Joseph and Mary that we can see how far society has devalued the family unit and how integral it is to God's plan and God's Holy Order of the marital union. For God ordained marriage as a Sacrament which must not be taken lightly, but must be entered upon as in a Holy Covenant between the couple and God.

We can also see the terrible destruction in which Satan has imperilled the family unit, by using various and nefarious means, to subtly introduce pride as the main ingredient to destabilising the family as a whole. For when the roles that both husband and wife should incorporate into their daily lives is blurred, the 'ME first at all costs' raises its ugly head.

Satan also uses other tools as his weapon which he wields with force at those who are susceptible. There is the pornography industry, which in some area's is now accepted as an 'art form', there is also the TV which gives the message of promiscuity and the ever increasing need for more 'things', and is now becoming the new 'nanny' to many children from overworked mothers and fathers.

We are living in a consumer age, where the gaining of 'things' has become a necessity, where conversation has given way to text messages, and children almost need to make an appointment to talk to their parents. Yet where does God say we must grab the best in order to be the best? It is this very thought that is the undoing of the family unit, in that both parents are overworked, overstressed and unappreciated in their attempts to achieve the best for their families yet it is this very striving for the best 'things in life' that is their undoing.

Satan must be gleeful as many couples focus on the wrong things in order to bring happiness into their relationship, when the key to happiness lay not in acquiring yet more things but in a giving of themselves to each other.

Instead of sighing over the 'good ole days' it is time instead to start practicing the example shown by our parents and grandparents. And also by reading and being obedient to what Scripture and the Church teaches us, that marriage is a Sacrament and should not be entered into lightly but to be embraced in a loving Covenant between two couples as they begin their lives together.

But life is not always perfect especially for those who enter into the Sacrament of Marriage only to find themselves at the receiving end of abuse either physical or verbal from their spouse. In cases such as this, the Church after due process can annul a marriage, after all avenues to save the marriage have been exhausted.

This is why our Faith is essential for a wholesome marriage and a happy and fulfilling life spent in providing not only for the physical but also for the spiritual elements of our existence. For if our focus is spent entirely on the physical comforts of this world at the cost of the spiritual, then will the price be your contentment? Your happiness? Your equanimity? Is it worth gaining all the riches of this world at such a high price?

When one considers the divorce rate, should we also not be asking ourselves, when did we forget God? For in forgetting God, we then enter the slippery slope of negating our spouse's finer qualities, and instead pay inordinate attention to the defects of ones partner. This is what Satan plays on and it needs to be countered with by a loving and thriving relationship with God, which teaches us to respect each other and to validate each Spouse as they compliment each other with their different but much needed gifts.

In short a good marriage takes work, it doesn’t just 'happen' but in working through issues with God at the centre and our Faith as the cornerstone, then it truly becomes a Covenant enjoyed between both spouses and God. And Satan is once again left impotent at such a Holy alliance, for this entity can only tempt us he cannot infringe upon man's free will. The health of the marriage will depend upon the amount both husband and wife spends in prayer with their Heavenly Father.

Peace of Christ to you ALL

Copyright © 2005 Marie Smith. All rights reserved.

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