When two people marry they do so because they love one another, but, very few people realise the cost it will be to themselves. Both sides expect the other to 'make them happy' without realising that happiness and contentment springs from within. No one person can bring you happiness that is something you give to yourself.
If you have low self esteem and feel unworthy to be loved, this abnormal view of yourself will affect not only you, but, your partner as you lay the onus on your spouse to provide what is lacking within yourself. This is the heaviest burden one can lay on another and is the quickest way to the divorce courts.
We have gone from a time when divorce was considered to be a scandal and a social disgrace, to the extreme opposite as divorce is considered a viable option. When the 'love is over' so ends the marriage. No marriage has ever been perfect and all marriages go through their ups and downs as spouses begin to take each other for granted and the marriage starts to feel stale. Is this an excuse to look for excitement outside of the marital bed?
When we look at past generations we wonder why the divorce ratio wasn't as high as it is today, and what made things then so different? Back in earlier times there wasn't the gratuitous sex and lust which the generation of today are inundated with. In days gone by the most popular TV shows were 'I Love Lucy' or 'The Honeymooners', then came 'The Walton's or 'Happy Days'. Television back then promoted the Sanctity of marriage while still being able to gain good ratings, mainly because it was the audience who dictated what was acceptable to them. What has happened between then and now?
As we have progressed in the technological field, so society has digressed when it comes to morality. Pornography can now be downloaded with a flick of a switch and no-one see's your dirty secret. This industry alone has flourished as more and more people both men and women become addicted to this type of sex industry. In many cases most adultery begins with this addiction to this insidious sexualization of society, where people are portrayed as meaningless machines to be used, abused and then discarded. Though many may try and hide their deeds in the dark the Lord sees all as the Word reveals in Numbers, "But if you do not do this, you will sin against the LORD, and you can be sure that you will not escape the consequences of your sin."
Then we have the internet chat rooms which is one of the main instigators of divorce in this day and age. As many marriages go through troubled times, the answer to their pain does not lay in escapist internet encounters, in the belief that because it is on the internet then it is not 'really a sin', yes it is! A spouse can betray their partner with emotional dalliances outside of their marriage, betrayal is betrayal no matter the format it takes, and it still remains a sin! Anyone who instigates or partakes in an internet affair is breaking their Covenant before God which is in the Sacrament of marriage. What many also do not understand is when a spouse betrays their partner, they also betray the children of their union. As infidelity affects all members of the family therefore the one who decides to stray from their marital Promise betrays their whole family. As it says in Matthew, "He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."
The difference between the generations is what we have allowed to occur as the morals we once held dear become passé and promises become conveniently forgotten. What truly lies at the heart of infidelity though is selfishness, as a person seeks their own self gratification and pays no heed to the pain this will cause their entire family unit. The focus has become SELF centered rather than self GIVING and it is this that lay at the heart of the unfaithful spouse as they troll for ways to 'spice' up their own lives. They forget their loving families and instead become self absorbed to a high degree, as their children become hostages to their ill gotten lusts.
Through the onslaught of TV and the internet where television serials become more and more graphic leaving nothing to the imagination and where the internet can cause great harm. Still the responsibility over what people watch or do not watch is for each of us to decide. Therefore we are responsible and will be held accountable if we choose to immerse ourselves in activities that we know to be sinful.
In these days of blaming society for everything we leave out personal accountability. No one is holding a gun to the head of those who, despite their religious upbringing, continue to pursue acts which they know to be outside the Law of God. It is way too convenient to simply lay the blame for personal choices on the media or the internet as if the person were not at fault. Therefore like Pilate, they wipe their hands of their own sin. Was Pilate innocent? When a spouse decides to watch pornography, or engage themselves in internet affairs, are they also innocent? God says different as we read in Hebrews, "Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers."
Though there may be more temptation in the world now than what our grandparents had to endure, does that exonerate an entire generation from choosing to sin? We are responsible for the choices we make and as the Bible says when something causes you to sin then pluck it out. If you cannot resist the temptation to sin on the internet then stop using it. If television serials causes you to sin then turn the TV off.
Every couple knows when their marriage is beginning to fail, before the love you feel for each other dies, choose to spend time focusing and re-energizing your marriage with full knowledge of the Covenant you made between yourselves and God. And as you remember this Promise before God also keep in mind the happiness of your children, it comes before your own.
Be careful of the choices you make lest your children pay the price for YOUR mistakes!
Peace of Christ to ALL
Copyright © 2005 Marie Smith. All rights reserved.
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